A U.S. scientist claims she has developed a perfume that can repel zombies. Who'd she test it on? The 76ers?

Three elephants reportedly escaped from a circus in St. Louis last week. To catch them, police created a special tusk force.

Another Sports Deke random ice girl pic. We bring good cheer.

My wife asked my thoughts on New Brunswick skip Jimmy Gratton choosing Kate Upton for his Dream Team. I said, "Let he without a sinful thought throw the first stone."


KATE UPTON CURLING DREAM TEAM

Major League Soccer refs ended their strike two weeks into the season. Not to say any calls were criminal, but replacement refs were wearing horizontal stripes.

Reuters reports staff at a Kenyan morgue were surprised to find a “dead” man suddenly woke up. Just like Alex Ovechkin after the Olympics.

Cleveland police reportedly closed off a busy section of highway to search for a man's severed penis. First place I'd look? A turnoff.

Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Belle Knox, who revealed she’s paying for her Duke education by starring in porn, says she’ll continue despite threats from the religious right. Call it a woman's sin-tuition.


BELLE KNOX: DUKIE AND PORN STAR

Metta World Peace told Huffington Live that people confuse passion with craziness. Personally, I think he is really passionate.

Olympic gold-medallists Team Brad Jacobs got honoured with a pre-game faceoff in Edmonton. That’s nice; it’s been a while since Oiler fans applauded a winner.

The Montreal Alouettes  added Chad Johnson to their negotiation list. Given CFL salaries, my guess is he'll be Chad No-show-cinco.

Another Sports Deke random ice crew pic. We bring good cheer.

Jayson Werth of the Nationals said there's "nothing harder in the galaxy" than hitting a baseball. There's a guy who's never had to tell his wife he forgot their anniversary.

JAYSON WERTH: UNIVERSAL IMPLICATIONS OF HITTING A BASEBALL

Vladimir Putin signed a treaty officially making Crimea part of Russia. So at the very least now we know where Crimea is.

Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

I don’t get all the fuss surrounding Belle Knox, a 19-year-old student who does porn to cover the cost of attending Duke. You'd think she was a Blue Devil.

Last Monday at the Ford Women’s World curling championships was Saint Patrick’s Day. It must have been tricky telling the real rocks from the shamrocks.

In assuming his new job with the Knicks, Phil Jackson said there's no "I" in team. True. But there is one in Phil Jackson.


THE ZEN MASTER JOINS THE KNICKS