Friday, 22 August 2014

Nationals slugger Jayson Werth got busted going 105 mph in a 55-mph zone. Looks like “there's nothing harder in the galaxy" than keeping his foot off the gas pedal.
Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Thursday, 21 August 2014

RJ’s GROANER OF THE WEEK
Some soccer experts think Luis Suarez's four-month ban for biting a World Cup opponent will teach him a lesson. Others doubt he’ll get the molar of the story.
The Wall Street Journal claims several N.Y. Jets are using the dating app Tinder so women can't tell they are NFL players. If that doesn't work, they can try playing for the Bills.

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Healthy Living is offering tips to protect your eyes this winter. They include keeping your eyes moist, wearing sunglasses and not watching the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.
When prisoners at New York's Rikers Island were sent to bed early and forced to turn off the TV, a riot broke out. I think we can assume they weren’t watching the Mets.

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

I'm not saying Johnny Manziel is too immature to be an NFL quarterback, but the Browns have him practising the Statue of Puberty play.
Side boob has been added to the Oxford dictionary. Note to Lakers fans: it does not refer to a guy on court with Kobe Bryant.

Monday, 18 August 2014

Supermodel Chrissy Teigen admitted to being drunk while throwing a pitch at a recent MLB game. The Rockies and Rangers bullpens just look like they are.


SI COVER GIRL CHRISSY TEIGEN THROWS 1ST PITCH
A woman in a Swedish church found IKEA bags that were filled with ancient human skulls and bones. And dozens of odd little wrenches.
Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Knicks star Carmelo Anthony says he wants to be a facilitator. Imagine Nero saying he wanted to be a firefighter.
Street-hockey players in Nanaimo, B.C., set a Guinness record with a game that lasted almost four and a half days. Or slightly less than the last three minutes of an NBA game.
Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Canada’s Jay Moledzki starred in a recent TV documentary called Sky Jumpers. Speaking of Canadians coming back down to earth, Eugenie Bouchard has lost three straight.


HISTORY CHANNEL SPECIAL SKY JUMPERS
Fangraphs.com puts the Blue Jays’ odds of making the playoffs at a measly 6.2 per cent and of taking the World Series at just over one per cent. But enough about optimists.

Friday, 15 August 2014

Mustard was leading the Kansas City Royals condiment race when his trousers dropped to his ankles, he fell, and was passed by Relish and Ketchup. In related news, Jerry Jones has been caught with his pants down.
Caroline Wozniacki will run the New York Marathon in place of her wedding to Rory McIlroy. It’s a gruelling, sweat-filled ordeal requiring guts and determination. The other event is a footrace.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

RJ’s GROANER OF THE WEEK:
Metta World Peace is reportedly planning to change his name to The Panda’s Friend. Bear with me, I'm not bamboozling you.
Recent SI cover girl and wannabe actress Irina Shayk, who appears topless in Maxim Magazine, says she’s only been offered stripper roles. Equally surprising, my theatre group asked me to play a cranky old bald guy.


 IRINA SHAYK TYPE CAST?

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

A Kansas farmer is an online hit for playing his trombone to call in the cows. Their three favourite tunes:
3. Dairy cross the Mersey;
2. Moo River;
1. An udder one bites the dust.
Another Sports Deke random cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Michael Vick thinks Jets quarterback Geno Smith will be ten times better than last season. In other words, just shy of mediocre.

JETS QB MICHAEL VICK PRAISES GENO SMITH
A New York strip club has offered Derek Jeter a retirement gift of free lap dances on his last day. Which beats the stupid cake I got.