RJ’s Punalty Box
A friend was in Paris recently, and said the Louvre museum was so big she had trouble finding her way out. I said there must be 50 ways to leave your Louvre.

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers.

The Daily Mail reports a New Zealand scientist recovered a USB memory stick of holiday photos inside a slab of seal poop. You have to wonder what made the guy look for it there.

An ESPN pundit suggested the Westminster Dog Show was biased because for the 47th time out of 115 events, a terrier won. Why not say it’s fixed — or in dog terms: call a spay a spay?

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers.

The Hartford Yard Goats baseball team no longer serves peanuts or Cracker Jack due to nut allergies. A few years ago Mariners also solved a nut problem: they cut Milton Bradley.

Set to launch on Valentine’s Day, a Tinder-like app called Tudder that helps farmers match dairy cows with ideal breeding partners. I know: it sounds like a lot of bull, but it’s the udder truth.

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers.

Canada’s women's hockey team reportedly underwent to a youth movement “looking for more speed.” So how perfect is the name of this rookie? Renata Fast.

I sent my vegetarian wife a valentine: “My cuke little peach, lettuce be a pear. I’ll be so grapeful and won’t take you for pomegranate.” She replied, "I corn seed you be leaf that, but peas beet it.”

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers!

Reuters reports a chain of St. Louis sports bars has installed urinals with a mugshot of reviled Rams owner Stan Kroenke in the center. Is there anything I can add to make that funnier?

An ice crew video (15 sec) from Sports Deke. Cheers.

My top three recent advances in television:
3. High definition;
2. Giant screens;
1. Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Bruins pest Brad Marchand said he’d never put an emoji on his stick; he has “way more self-respect than that.” Spoken with the same tongue that licked another guy’s face.

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers!

Recently married supermodel Emily Ratajkowski reportedly tied the knot five months before anyone saw her wedding ring. Well, other than the crew of the space station.

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers.

Lindsey Vonn crashed in the super-G at the world championships in Sweden. Vonn is also reportedly dating Predators blueliner PK Subban — no word if they fell hard for each other.

Newly hired Washington inside-linebackers coach, Rob Ryan, said he’s coming to the job with a “humble attitude.” Right. About as likely as him appearing on a box of Wheaties.

RJ’s Punalty BoxThe Toronto Raptors prepared for the stretch drive by trading for Marc Gasol. You might say they pressed on the Gasol peddle.

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers.

I’m thinking the University of Miami’s new punter, Louis Hedley, may have a bit of a tattoo obsession. He’s got more ink than the Hurricanes’ playbook.

A cheerleader pic from Sports Deke. Cheers.

Ex-Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho dropped the ceremonial opening puck at a KHL game, then promptly fell flat on his ass on the ice. “Tell us about it,” said the Anaheim Ducks.