Tuesday, 23 December 2014

RJ’s Groaner of the Week
A Cincinatti shortstop named Rudy looked outside and said, "It's raining." His wife said, "No, it's snowing." "Raining!" said he. “Snowing!" said she. Raining! Snowing! Raining! Snowing! And on it went. "Listen," he finally said. "Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear."

Another Sports Deke Christmas cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.
A naked man was arrested at Logan airport in Boston after falling through the ceiling of a women's washroom. Does it count as carry-on when baggage is psychological?

Monday, 22 December 2014

Three reasons a South Carolina horse threw a bride to the ground while she was posing on it in her wedding dress: 3. It sensed nagging doubts; 2. To leave her at the halter; 1. Bride cometh before a fall.
My wife came across an ad: "Give the Chrstmas gift of Winnipeg Blue Bomber season tickets.” She said to me, "In case you were wondering, even a squeeze mop would be a bigger hit."
Another Sports Deke Christmas cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

The Panthers won an NHL-record 20-round shootout over the Capitals when Nick Bjugstad scored. The last time a shootout used that many rounds, it was ended by Doc Holliday.

 NICK BJUGSTAD SHOOTOUT WINNER
Another Sports Deke Christmas cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.
Bears QB Jay Cutler went to a presser attended by only one reporter. I remember being the only student in a night-school course. The teacher said I was in a class by myself.

Saturday, 20 December 2014

Another Sports Deke Christmas ice crew pic. We bring good cheer.
The Chicago Bears announced Jimmy Clausen will replace Jay Cutler as starting quarterback. Why not? At this point even Santa Clausen couldn’t help them.
The Winnipeg Blue Bombers fired defensive coordinator Gary Etcheverry. Coach Mike O'Shea said he wouldn’t run through Etch’s failings — opposing offences already did that.

Friday, 19 December 2014

Tim Hardaway Jr. angered Knicks teammate Carmelo Anthony by telling him to get a rebound. Melo? Rebounds? You’d have better luck asking Lady Godiva to grab her lapels.


MELO GETTING REBOUNDS?
Hollywood veteran Mickey Rourke, 62, returned to the ring and got a TKO over a 29-year-old in Moscow. He also picked up that elusive Oscar for best actor in a stupid role.
Another Sports Deke Christmas cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Thursday, 18 December 2014

I may have just had a Freudian slip. I meant to type “N.Y. Jets,” but it came out “N.Y. Jest.”
Another Sports Deke Christmas cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.
MLB referee crew chief Dale Scott announced he’s gay. He could be the first umpire out at the plate.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

The Astros said an October Taylor Swift concert at Minute Maid Park will be moved if it conflicts with a postseason game. Right. And I told my wife I’d be late for dinner if Kate Upton calls.


TAYLOR SWIFT SCHEDULE CONFLICT?
Rumour has it Edmonton’s Rexall Place might change its name to The Rec Room. May as well make the Oilers comfortable living in the basement.
Another Sports Deke Christmas ice crew pic. We bring good cheer.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

RJ’s Groaner of the Week
Yahoo! Sports claims Jon Lester signed with the Cubs due to his trust of president Theo Epstein and GM Jed Hoyer. Or as Red Soxs fans now call the trio, the Lester of two evils.
It looks more and more like ex-CBC host Jian Ghomeshi's goose is cooked. I wonder if he roughed it up before stuffing it?
Another Sports Deke Christmas cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

Monday, 15 December 2014

Possible docudrama titles after a snake was tossed over the counter at a Saskatoon Tim Hortons:  
3. Fang ‘Em High;  
2. Snakes on the Plains;  
1. Horton Hears a Hiss.