I once taught a university PageMaker course where only one student showed up. I told her she was in a class by herself.

BuzzFeed’s top 10 words in tabloid headlines: baby; secret; wedding; pregnant; marriage; sex; shocking; cheating; divorce; diet. Right up to diet, anyone else thinking of the NBA?

A double-arm amputee plans to fight a ticket Saskatoon police gave him for not doing up his seatbelt. Sounds like a case of no arm, no foul.


STEVE SIMONAR, ARMLESS FOR 28 YEARS, TICKETED FOR NOT FASTENING SEATBELT

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The Economist says New York has the most billionaires of any city in the world. I can't see this being big news to Yankees fans.

A Blackhawks fan went into labour at the United Center watching Chicago eliminate the Wild and advance to Round 2. That might be the mother of all playoff births.

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In case you missed it, ex-Washington hoopster Jason Collins came out of the closet. Given how many teams swept the Wizards this season, it was probably a broom closet.

A brief comparison of No. 69 on Maxim's hottest women list, Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend, vis-à-vis No. 70, SI swimsuit model Nina Agdal: No body. Some body!


SI SWIMSUIT ISSUE "ROOKIE OF THE YEAR" NINA AGDAL

According to a recent study, tragedy makes you think about sex. So there is a bright side to being a Toronto Maple Leafs fan.

The Daily Telegraph says British scientists are designing a computer that dogs can use to play games, run household appliances and communicate with owners. What's it called? An iPawed?

A deer knocked down a mountain biker competing in a race at a Virginia state park. To paraphrase Homer Simpson - Doe!


BIKER'S HELMET CAM CAPTURES DEER AN INSTANT BEFORE IMPACT

The latest substance MLB pitchers are reportedly using to get an edge? Sunscreen. This just in: Clay Buchholtz has tested positive for cocoa butter.

Ex-Lions receiver Titus Young was arrested for the third time in a week, this time for a home invasion. Some guys make news for a breakout performance; others for a break-in.

In the NHL playoffs, it's the Bruins against the Rangers. Classic? Their last post-season battle was in Jellystone Park.

Shortly before favourite Orb won the Kentucky Derby, Vanity Fair posted a photo of Gisele Bundchen nude on horseback. I call that backing the right horse and a horse with the right backing.


GISELE BUNDCHEN POSES NUDE IN VANITY FAIR, JANUARY, 2000

At the risk of stating the obvious, in Game 2 of the Kings-Sharks series, Vlasic’s last-minute penalty put San Jose in a pickle.

On Monday, May 13, Canadian astronaut and Maple Leafs fan Chris Hadfield came crashing back to Earth. And so did the Leafs.


CHRIS HADFIELD CALLED HIS LANDING "A CAR CRASH" AFTER 5 MONTHS IN SPACE

One more complaint from Alex Ovechkin about the refs favouring the Rangers and New Yorkers will start calling him Kvetch-kin.

Q. What do you call a fashion-store promotion that saw 50 young Swiss women race 375 metres through Basel in their undies?

A. Over too quickly.

Two-time world champ and Olympic gold-medal curler Russ Howard will be inducted into Canada’s Sports Hall of Fame. Just think how much bronze will be needed for that head.

Ex-tennis pro Anna Kournikova and long-time fiancé Enrique Iglesias are reportedly set to tie the knot. Let's hope Kournikova has more success in marriage than she did in singles.


ANNA KOURNIKOVA WEDDING THIS WEEK (REPORT)

Standard Magazine reports heavy-metal fans are among the most anxious and depressed in the world. But still a distant second to Cubs fans.

Another Sports Deke gratuitous cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.