Is it just me, or did the first three games of the Stanley Cup final have more clutching and grabbing than a drive-in triple feature?

NBA champ LeBron James says he's happy he could "leave everything on the floor." Try that in my house and my wife will kill you.


LEBRON: LEFT EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR

The Mirror reports a man in Brighton, England, will share his home rent-free if his tenant dresses up daily as a walrus. Anyone else just think of Senators coach Paul MacLean?

Tennis star Victoria Azarenka has reportedly launched a new line of perfume. Lemme guess; Estee Louder?

With all due respect to Lady Gaga, the only way I'd pay $13,000 for a fingernail is if it was still attached to Kate Upton.


A LADY GAGA FINGERNAIL FETCHED OVER $13,000

*Another random Sports Deke cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

A Colombian poet reportedly plans to sell his testicles to raise money for a European tour. I gotta say, that takes — never mind.

Kobe Bryant isn't sure he'll be ready for the start of next season. He's recovering from a ruptured Achilles tendon and a strained coaching relationship.

Vladimir Putin is getting a divorce amid rumours he's been courting former Olympic gymnast Alina Kabayeva. Putin denies any fling, but I suspect he gave the gymnast a tumble.

Jennifer Aniston says she's jealous of Kate Middleton's hair. I feel the same way, except I'm jealous of everyone with hair.


THE DUCHESS'S HAIR DRAWS PRAISE

A bride and groom in England received a soccer dugout for a wedding present. I think I can speak for most husbands on this one: At least it's roomier than the doghouse.

Did I hear New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft say the Russian president stole his Super Bowl ring? Is he Putin us on?

Manu Ginóbili was invisible through four games against the Heat; then in Game 5 he scored a season-high 24 points and added 10 assists. Talk about Spur of the moment.


MANU GINOBILI: GAME 5 HEROICS

Hayley Wickenheiser says the University of Calgary helped her get a degree by planning exams around her hockey schedule. In response, NCAA athletes have said, "Exams?"

A truck carrying 6,000 gallons of Scotch overturned and ignited just south of Newark (N.J.). The blaze was extinguished using foam and the tears of two dozen New Jersey Devils.

*Another random Sports Deke cheerleader pic. We bring good cheer.

A friend of mine is upset the Edmonton Oilers fired coach Ralph Kruger via Skype. Mind you, he also thinks hashtag is a game he played while experimenting with drugs.

JaMarcus Russell says he has a tryout upcoming with the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens. In a related story, Paris Hilton has an application in to Mensa.


JAMARCUS RUSSELL ATTEMPTING NFL COMEBACK

A British company has designed underpants that prevent butt cracks from showing. Great. Now we'll never recognize our plumber.

Chad Johnson got 30 days in jail for patting his attorney on the rump. Pats-wise, that's the second time he's been a bust.

Three things scientists found on Einstein's planet, newly-discovered about 2,000 light-years from Earth:  
3. Fast jet-stream winds;  
2. Temperatures of 3,600 degrees Fahrenheit;  
1. The Pittsburgh Penguins scoring touch.


THE PENGUINS: JUST 2 GOALS IN 4 GAMES AS BOSTON SWEPT