Celebrity fashion designer David Koma says he has imagined dressing his new client, Maria Sharapova. My wife says I've probably imagined the opposite.


MARIA SHARAPOVA EARNS MILLIONS OFF-COURT

Princess Charlene of Monaco, who swam for South Africa, is hosting its swim team during the Olympics. I won't go to any lengths to stroke this for cheap laughs.

In case you missed it, Ultimate Fighting has come to Calgary. And no, we don't mean Rider fans in the McMahon Stadium beer lines.

Kris Humphries signed a two-year deal with Brooklyn. That's twice as long as his last commitment to the Nets; ten times longer than his commitment to the Kardashians.

Australian police say they now have the infamous 'Buxom Bandit' behind bars. However, she's considered a high risk to bust out.

SECURITY VIDEO OF THE BUXOM BANDIT

Three centennial celebrations this year in Canada:
3. The inaugural Calgary Stampede;
2. The first Grey Cup;
1. The birth of Lloyd Robertson


THE GREY CUP: ONE OF SPORT'S OLDEST TROPHIES

Argentina's field hockey goalie is out of the Olympics because she's pregnant. Mind you, she's still expecting to take some kicks.

Justin Verlander is reportedly dating SI cover girl Kate Upton. Who knew he was that good at pitching woo?


KATE UPTON AND JUSTIN VERLANDER AN ITEM?

A recent study says failed marriages among the over-50 set have more than doubled since 1990. It's gotten so bad, Mother Nature has filed for divorce from Father Time.

A note to my followers who emailed to say my quips in today's Saskatoon Express (under Will Jones skip a beat now that she is pregnant) are uncredited: Editor Cam Hutchinson has already emailed an apology to me for the error. I thank all of you for your concern. And those of you who said you recognized my style, I hope it's a compliment. LOL.

Celebrity blind-date show participant Ndamukong Suh says a key to dating is good hygiene. He also says he's not a dirty player.

Curlers Jennifer Jones and Brent Laing announced they are expecting a baby. The news surprised curling fans. A skip sleeping with a second?

Word is Snoop Dogg may write a song about being detained at Oslo's airport for marijuana possession. What's the title? Norwegian Weed?

A wedding party posing on a dock over Gun Lake (Mich.) was plunged into the cold water when it collapsed. Symbolic? Not really. Most husbands usually end up in hot water.

According to a new study, major-league pitchers are twice as likely to bean batters when temperatures exceed 26 Celsius. Six times more likely in Fahrenheit.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers roster includes a Buck and a Doe. Which must be great news to the Als' Aaron Hunt.

Edwin Encarnacion signed a 3-year, $27-million extension with the Jays. Think of it as re-Encarnacion.

Lindsay Lohan was seen clubbing with porn star James Deen. I'm shocked. This could totally ruin Deen's reputation.


LINDSAY LOHAN CLUBBING WITH PORN STAR

A Guinness world record of 17 canines surfing on one board was set in California. They celebrated with songs by the Bitch Boys.