St. Louis catcher Yadier Molina got suspended five games for a confrontation with umpire Rob Drake. On the bright side, drought-stricken farmers in the Midwest have invited him to yell at their crops.

MOLINA ALLEGEDLY SPRAYED UMPIRE DRAKE DURING THIS TIRADE

The mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania, a strong advocate for pedal power, drove a tank into a Mercedes parked in a bike lane. Consider it hitting for the cycle.

A Proclaimers fan in China is walking 1,000 miles to ask his girlfriend to marry him. An even bigger challenge? He'll have to say "Saskatchewan" without starting to stutter.

Andy Roddick has dropped to number 12 in the ATP rankings. However, his wife, Brooklyn Decker, is still a perfect 10. 


SUPERMODEL BROOKLYN DECKER HASN'T SLIPPED

After the opening round of the Bridgestone Invitational, an ESPN analyst said Tiger's putter was outstanding. Isn't that what got Woods into trouble in the first place

Kim Kardashian, fiancee of the Nets' Kris Humphries, had a bachelorette party thrown by her sisters that reportedly included a male exotic dancer. No word on whether he kept up with the Kardashians.

NASA plans to send a probe to Jupiter in August to answer questions about life on other planets, a mission that will take six years and cost $1.1 billion. Wouldn't it be easier just to ask Mark Cuban?

Former Playboy Playmate, Shannon Tweed, long-time girlfriend of rocker Gene Simmons, told TSN she once dated a  CFL linebacker but wouldn't name him on TV.

What's her philosophy? Kiss but don't tell?


CANADIAN SHANNON TWEED ONCE DATED A CFL LINEBAKER

Red Wings owner Mike Ilitch, after Kris Draper announced his retirement, recalled getting him from the Jets in 1993 for the then-waiver price of $1. Or as they call it today in the CFL, a signing bonus.

Edmonton goalie Nikolai Khabibulin has decided not to appeal his Arizona drunk driving conviction. He will serve part of his sentence in jail and the rest having to play for the Oilers.

Lindsay Lohan was criticized last week for showing up in court braless. Maybe she was hoping for a breast case scenario.

Quarterback Matt Leinart changed his mind about joining the Seahawks and re-signed with the Texans. This may be because a) Seattle signed Tarvaris Jackson, or b) the bench is warmer in Houston.

What do you call Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek chasing a thief this week through a San Francisco hotel?

Trivial pursuit.

Playmate Crystal Harris, 24, who recently jilted Hugh Hefner, told a US radio show that sex with the Playboy tycoon lasted two seconds.

She makes it sound like that's not normal.

CRYSTAL HARRIS JILTED HUGH HEFNER